BGP_Ep016:FindingJoyInTheSeason
Welcome to Big Girl Panties and other business essentials where we turn big dreams into real businesses with faith, creativity, and grit. I'm Amy Howard, and here we dive into the stories, the strategies and heart-centered truths that will help you build and grow a business that you'll love. Whether you're a creative and entrepreneur, a maker with a vision, or someone who's passionate about serving others, you have found your tribe.
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Hey guys. Welcome back to Big Girl Panties and other business essentials. Today I wanna be able to go over something that has just really been on my mind. I know I share a lot of my experiences with you. I shall share stories with you. I share thoughts and. In hopes that it helps you. Maybe not that I'm an expert in any way, but that I'm just two or three feet ahead of you and if my experiences or my failures can help you in any way, that is part of my heart in doing this podcast.
And I think about I think about the season of Christmas and. How we can intentionally choose joy and prepare our hearts. There is an intentional preparing for a Christ-centered Christmas during the holidays. And so I wanna go a little bit deeper than we normally do because. For many of us, Christmas isn't just busy.
It's really complicated. It's emotional. And at times I think a lot of you would agree with me. It's painful. And so there's so many of us that our families from the outside they look perfect. They look whole, but we're very fractured On the inside, there's going to be empty seats at the table that is mamas as our mama, hearts that we grieve that empty seat.
There are gonna be conversations that feel forced because there's a lot of past hurts and there are prodigal children that we pray for every day wondering if this is gonna be the Christmas that they come home, or that we get a text or even a phone call. So I wanna say this clearly, this is you. You are not failing at Christmas.
You are living real life. I have a sweet friend that I have known for many, many years and my son was friends with her son and he traveled with us on trips, vacations, but her son overdosed on Christmas Eve. Her husband went to go find him at his apartment, wondering where he was. They were setting the table for Christmas Eve dinner and.
He was dead. And you think, how do you walk through that kind of deep grief or loss? So of course, you can imagine every holiday, every Christmas season, that's that resonating thought process, that loss, that reliving of that. Some of us are navigating relationships with family members. Where there's been old wounds that they resurface the moment that we walk through the door.
Some of us grew up watching our parents struggle deeply during this season. My own mother suffered from deep depression at Christmas, and those memories will shape how we experience the holidays even now. And then layered on top of all this is the pressure to perform, the pressure to buy, the pressure, to have the prettiest tree, the pressure to have all the gifts wrapped and the certain satin, the certain or specific satin beautiful bow, or it's just this pressure to show up happy when we feel anything but happy and that pressure can quietly steal our joy.
So how do we prepare our hearts for Christmas when things are broken, when they're unresolved or even tender? I really believe that the answer begins before these people come, before the gift giving, before the conversations even happen, and it on our part, this is where the intentionality comes in. We have to prepare our hearts for healing.
One of the most important things that we can do. Is to let go of any expectations. Expectations are heavy and they say, this person should change. This conversation should go better this year should look different. And when expectations aren't met that we set up, which they often aren't we become disappointed, we become frustrated, or if we're not careful.
Resentment can start, but healing often begins when we say, God, I'm gonna release my expectations to you. That doesn't mean that we ignore the pain. It doesn't mean that we excuse the hurtful behavior. Are you hearing me? It doesn't mean that you're excusing what they did to hurt you, but it does mean we are gonna stop carrying whatever it was.
Which was never ours to carry in the first place. Forgiveness isn't saying what happened was, okay, forgiveness is saying, I'm gonna trust God more than I trust this. Pain and , forgiveness, especially during the holidays, is a gift that we give to ourselves. You know, there's another thing that I think about and, and personally I deal with, is , having prodigal children and broken relationships.
If you have a prodigal child, I wanna speak to you directly just for a moment. There's no ache like it. There's no prayer. More persistent, and there's no longing or constant. I cannot imagine a more powerful prayer than asking God to heal what only he can heal. To soften hearts, to restore relationships, and to draw our children home.
Not out of guilt, but out of love. We know this. It's like when the desires of your heart, God will give us the desires of our heart. And a lot of people have taken that like, well, I want a Lamborghini, or I wanna Range Rover, whatever. And it's like, no. When our heart's aligned with God's heart, when the things that he wants and that is something that he wants, that is a powerful, powerful prayer.
So I really encourage you, don't give up. Trust God's timing, but pray that God will bring that child home. Because remember this. This is powerful. This is my little fo tattoo moment. When I say things like this, what God originates. God orchestrates you did not birth that child without God's hand on their life.
You did not pour love into them without his presence and he has not forgotten them. Not for one moment. Christmas is a beautiful time to pray boldly to ask God for healing. Feels impossible at times. To trust that even silence does not mean that he is not working. Even when it's quiet, even when you feel there's no answer to prayer, God is working The power of prayer in the ordinary, it's like one thing I think we often forget that in this busyness of the season is the quiet power of prayer for me.
Prayer weaves its way into the most ordinary of moments all throughout my day. When I wrap gifts, I will pray for the person who's going to receive that gift. The entire time I'm wrapping, I'm praying, praying for their health. I'm praying for their heart. I'm praying for the walk with the Lord. Whatever God brings to my mind when I cook, literally the other day I was making short ribs for dinner.
That we had for our guest and for our dinner party, and I had to cut up six large onions. And just to let me say, I am not a fan of cutting onions. I cry the whole time. I'm washing my hands. My eyes are watering. It's very dramatic. But as I was standing there, I felt so much gratitude. I said, father, thank you for the money that I had to buy these onions.
Father, I'm so grateful that they have so much flavor that they add. I, if I didn't have the onions, my short ribs would not nearly taste as good. And I'm grateful that I had people coming to my table to eat these short ribs. Then I go around the table that the people that are coming, and I will touch each chair, and I pray for the person that's gonna sit there.
I pray for their marriages. I pray for their children, their burdens, their joy, and I pray that their time in our home is sweet, that it's a respite from the rest of the world. Something that I learned very important over the years that anxiety cannot exist. Where gratefulness is present, another tattoo moment.
Anxiety cannot exist. Where gratefulness is present, a gratitude shifts our focus. It grounds us. It reminds us what is good, even when everything isn't perfect, and we have an opportunity to choose a different framework. This world will try to be our compass. Retailers are gonna tell us that we need more social media is gonna convince us that we're behind and, and then there's always that comparison game that's whispering in our ear.
You're not enough or you can't compare to her. You can't do what she does. But please remember, the world is not our focus. That is not our compass because God's word is Jesus lived intentionally. He stopped, he listened. And he noticed people that others overlooked. He didn't avoid brokenness. He entered into it.
Is that not so powerful to think about? Jesus didn't avoid brokenness. He entered into it and that's, that's our invitation in this season of Christmas. Two. Slow down to be present to love intentionally. And to choose joy, not because life is easy, but because Christ is near. You know, I always like to give you three takeaways because we can listen to things, we can we can read things, and it's like, I just, I wanna think about three.
What are three takeaways that I can kind of think about, chew on a little bit, just resonate and really start applying that to my life. One, we've gotta release expectations and prepare a heart. That word release, I almost think about putting my hand out in a dove, like just flying off a bird, releasing it, go into dinner parties, gatherings, meeting with friends, going to a family gathering, prayed up.
Not wound up, but prayed up. Let God soften your heart before conversations begin. And try to release outcomes and trust him with the rest. Don't think about if I say this, she's gonna say this, or I'm always gonna leave hurt. No, because we're gonna be prayed up and we are gonna see from the get go, it's gonna make a huge, huge difference.
Number two, I want you to cover your home and your people in prayer. Pray as you wrap gifts. Pray as you cook. Pray over chairs. Pray over tables. Conversations. Invite God into the ordinary moments because he does extraordinary work there. One, one thing I love about Gene, sometimes he'll have his robe on and he's got his coffee mug in hand and his house shoes and he will go outside.
And I'm like, where are you going? He's like, I'm just gonna go pray around the house. He will walk our home. And pray for a hedge of protection. Guys, there is spiritual warfare going on. We don't talk about it much, but I'm here to tell you it's real. The enemy. We know this and it's good to remind ourselves, he comes to kill, steal, and destroy.
But God's given us authority as we go into the throne room of God. We're gonna ask the Lord to protect our family. And put a hedge of protection around our home. And number three, practice. Gratitude is a daily discipline. Name what you're thankful for. Even in the small things, gratitude reorients our hearts and our, and quiets our anxiety.
And then what happens? Joy will start growing where thankfulness lives. You are gonna notice you, you're gonna smile more, you're gonna laugh more, your, your eyes are just gonna look brighter because you are living that intentionality of having a grateful spirit. And there may be some things that you just need to cut off certain television shows, , you may even have friendships that you have to walk away from.
But my prayer for you, this Christmas is not about perfection. It is about peace. It's not about control, but it's about trust. It's not about being busy or busyness, but presence. I want you to experience the kind of joy that the world can't give us, but you know what? Also the world can't take it away.
That's the true gift of Christmas. So many times people will say, oh, Amy, I love how you're so creative, or you do this or that, and I'm like, you need to know. My desire is that the Holy Spirit just flows through me. I know God gave me the gift of creativity. I know that is 100% from him, but more than anything, I want people to see Jesus in and through me, and that really does start with intentionality.
And it continues on with letting things go. I can really say as I've sat quiet so many times and I've thought, Lord, who is there anybody in my life that I, even from years and years ago that I haven't released or that I can't pray for with a whole heart that you could bless them and I'm okay with it.
And there really isn't.
And I realize that I have to let that go in order, that nothing is impeded in my life, that God can't work in and through me to be able to bless others. So I pray that you get the gift this year of knowing that you are loved and that you are adored. And that there is a God who has a purpose and a plan for your life, and we just wanna walk in that.
And the way of doing it is being able to live intentionally. I do pray that you have a very merry Christmas and that it is a holiday season of getting together with friends and family that will be joyous and one of the most beautiful that you've ever experienced. I love you guys.
